Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
