dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
