The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
