What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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