Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
