Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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