What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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