And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize