organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize