I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
