but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
