Sry I called you an 8
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
