my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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