you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
