In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
