Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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