i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
