What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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