so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
