Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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