also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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