We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
