there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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