So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
