I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
