Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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