Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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