Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
