I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
