he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
