she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
