May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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