You work out of a Hotel?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I forget how to act sober
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize