It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
