Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
