how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
