Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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