guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
