Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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