He is such a slut. More and more my type.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
