More tranny stories later!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
