Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
