Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
