I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we made out on top of his cat.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
