girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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