at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
