I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Damn victory sex feels great
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
