No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
