Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
