Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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