never play flip cup with pint glasses
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
