No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
