haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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