Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
