The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
