Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
