thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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