Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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