they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
