Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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