I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
