i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
