Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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