i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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